God and I, we’ve been in quite a distant lately. He tries to talk to me in a various way and by various media. It’s just that I don’t talk back. I still go to attend the mass at His house every week. I am still touched by Him. There are many times I unconsciously cry knowing that I shouldn’t do what I am doing right now. I don't know why but I feel far from Him lately.
Last week someone stole my wallet. Then everything went blue. I got angry, disappointed, felt betrayed by everyone. The day before it happened was the first time I talk to God again after a long time. I got angry to Him. My human selfishness had suddenly occurred. When I don’t have Him for a while my life was just fine, but when I returned to Him I lost my wallet. And not to mention I had to walk on a flooded street after work last Wednesday. The street was drowned. I was drowned and angrier and sad and scare like hell.
I need 4 days to grieve. It was not just the wallet; it was the feeling of emptiness inside of me. My boyfriend said that it was the way God say hi to me, because every time He waves His hand to me whenever I meet Him in the corner every morning I didn’t even wave back. So this time when He saw me in the corner He decided to come closer and tap my shoulder a bit hard so I notice Him and talk back to Him. My boyfriend was right, on the fifth day of my grieving day I realized this. He had opened my eyes to a lot of things close to me which I haven’t able to see before. So thank Him for that.
Lessons:
1. Be gentle to your slippers, she’s the only one you can count on on rainy days
2. When bad things happen to you, you’ll be surprised how strangers could be so nice to you
3. People you might hate could also surprisingly turn into angels and be your shoulder to cry on –then you will decide that they’re no longer enemies–
4. Little flaws you did to your best friends really do affect them, then they will slowly hate you that they don’t even care anymore when a disaster happens to you
1. Be gentle to your slippers, she’s the only one you can count on on rainy days
2. When bad things happen to you, you’ll be surprised how strangers could be so nice to you
3. People you might hate could also surprisingly turn into angels and be your shoulder to cry on –then you will decide that they’re no longer enemies–
4. Little flaws you did to your best friends really do affect them, then they will slowly hate you that they don’t even care anymore when a disaster happens to you
It is a disaster, but definitely not the end of the world and also not a reason to quit waving back at God whenever He wave at you. If it’s not for Him, I wouldn’t be standing tall here after everything which has happened in the whole last week.
Lots of love,
Maria
No comments:
Post a Comment