27 Things on My Mind on My 27th Birthday

God is Kind People...God is Kind

God and I, we’ve been in quite a distant lately. He tries to talk to me in a various way and by various media. It’s just that I don’t talk back. I still go to attend the mass at His house every week. I am still touched by Him. There are many times I unconsciously cry knowing that I shouldn’t do what I am doing right now. I don't know why but I feel far from Him lately.

Last week someone stole my wallet. Then everything went blue. I got angry, disappointed, felt betrayed by everyone. The day before it happened was the first time I talk to God again after a long time. I got angry to Him. My human selfishness had suddenly occurred. When I don’t have Him for a while my life was just fine, but when I returned to Him I lost my wallet. And not to mention I had to walk on a flooded street after work last Wednesday. The street was drowned. I was drowned and angrier and sad and scare like hell.

I need 4 days to grieve. It was not just the wallet; it was the feeling of emptiness inside of me. My boyfriend said that it was the way God say hi to me, because every time He waves His hand to me whenever I meet Him in the corner every morning I didn’t even wave back. So this time when He saw me in the corner He decided to come closer and tap my shoulder a bit hard so I notice Him and talk back to Him. My boyfriend was right, on the fifth day of my grieving day I realized this. He had opened my eyes to a lot of things close to me which I haven’t able to see before. So thank Him for that.

Lessons:
1.  Be gentle to your slippers, she’s the only one you can count on on rainy days
2.  When bad things happen to you, you’ll be surprised how strangers could be so nice to you
3. People you might hate could also surprisingly turn into angels and be your shoulder to cry on –then you will decide that they’re no longer enemies–
4. Little flaws you did to your best friends really do affect them, then they will slowly hate you that they don’t even care anymore when a disaster happens to you

It is a disaster, but definitely not the end of the world and also not a reason to quit waving back at God whenever He wave at you. If it’s not for Him, I wouldn’t be standing tall here after everything which has happened in the whole last week.

Lots of love,

Maria

Louder Please!!

This is the fourth month of our On the Job Training period. We are trying to keep the boredom at bay. Some bring books to read, some try to turn their brain to find things which could add value to their days, some even read the Standard Operating Procedures of the unit we’re attached at like it was a complicated chemical formula. No matter how hard we try, the saturation begins to envelope us again like it is crawling over our skin. But we don’t give up on this, so we try so hard every single day to find something amusing around the job activity –you see the word activity is not plural because our activity really is NOT plural–. Karaoke is definitely one out of quite little choices we have. I am a person who believes that people should let out what is inside their heart. When you are happen to be an introvert kind of person, then you should find a way to express yourself. Letting what you feel inside is a thing karaoke could help. Pick a song that express your most current feeling, choose the exact way to sing it, don’t bother to think about the right key, and then just do it. Feel the magic which come from a mixture between hideous voice and a fatal key error. What’s needed to be let out will come out just as it should be.

Now I have new girlfriends to karaoke with. Our song lists? Unbelievably bizarre!! Much more bizarre than my other karaoke group –yes I also realize that bizarre always be my word for people who accompany my karaoke time (or they turn bizarre because they’ve karaoke with me?)– The way we sing? Identically to the real singer –refers to the bizarre song lists, then you know the way we sing is as bizarre as it is– (O Gosh! Do you realize I have mentioned the word bizarre 6 times?). The way we dance? No questions about that, since there was no dance except a little move on the head, and shoulders, and legs –that’s dance already anyway– it was so much fun. You can see people through a different side, their hidden side. We choose our own language to sing. When we have songs that everybody knows, then we’ll sing it together. But we definitely have our own songs to sing by our own voice, style, and absolutely our own key. Hours passed without us even realizing it. We laugh, recall a memory from the songs we sing, make fun of the ancient video clip of the old songs we choose. It was fun, huge fun. Got home after it feeling relieve and enlighten, sure it’ll also do to everyone else.

So when someone says ‘sshhh’ to someone else when they sound a bit too loud, I would say to these girls “Louder Please”.