Ms. Good Intention with Lousy Execution

I once wrote that I don’t do art. I enjoy art but I just don’t do art. But lately I have spent pennies. Lots of those. To buy me a wonderful yet I don’t even know why I bought it kind of hand craft tools. Hand crafting is an art right?

I do paper quilling. Knitting. Cross stitching. I also get myself a cooking book. I even bought some stuff to make my own batik. I know I am unbelievably unexpected slash a tiny little bit creative slash stupid slash wanting too much. There’s just so many things going on in my head and that doesn’t make me feel comfy with my life and it needs to get out of there. So rather than drinking and doing drugs I chose hand crafting.

  

  Some of those tools are not expensive which I realize more than ever that this is the reason why I spent more that I’m already budgeted. Because it’s not expensive than I think it wouldn’t be considered as a sin if I buy one or two more of it –or three or four. Or five– that when the bill come I am shocked.

  So here’s the progress of my latest project: 

1. Cross stitching: I already made 4 of it and have 3 as my ongoing work including 1 for my mom’s birthday present.
2. Cooking: am still trying to find the ingredient for my recipe. 
3. Knitting: stopped at first layer since the downloaded tutorial video gets so stingy and decided to stop at first layer only –oh I’m mistaken myself, it was an expert tutorial. Of course it stopped at layer one– (then I just lost interest to find any tutorial for beginner). That’s why I’ll take knitting course on my next Christmas holiday. 
4. Batik making: struggle to find a crew since THE backache and headache and sore eyes are in ‘da house as if I am a 90 years old grandmother. I am also taking batik class for my next Christmas holiday. 
5. Paper Quilling: I made one or two handmade cards, for my friend’s baby’s birthday, for my friend’s new house, for my friend’s wedding. Proud of the results but not proud of the idea since I still need back up from a guy called Google for examples. Aaannnd I have a huge help for the finishing that’s why these cards are brought into reality and not just stay in fantasy as some of the other project.

  I am finding another new things to live the day. Right now I am picturing myself:

1. Holding my finished beautiful handmade batik, and rushing to the tailor to make it as a skirt –see!! I am futuristic *hahhahha I wish*, I think of details..people!! Instead of making just batik I thought about the pattern and the finishing goods of it–;
2. handing THE handmade cross stitch on my mom’s birthday; 
3. proudly present a very nice scarf if sweater is too much as the final result of my knitting for my love one; 
4. and not to mention standing on my own snack booth that me and my friend has planned.

God!! Imagine how beautiful life would be. I am full of interest yet when someone says amen of my word and ask me to join them for a ride to live up my idea I would say no –no wonder my girlfriend fed up and left me. *and I do miss her big time*–

So I have a lot of good intention but I execute it not too well. Hope it’ll stop. There are just moments when I lay down on my bed and imagining myself doing a lot of stuff. From rereading my college books to just brushing my teeth. Wake up girl!! None of them are gonna happen without the real brain, hands, feet, and body of yours.

I need me.

My hands are just soooo full right now. Nothing wrong with it. Just let THE 100% Maria support Maria 100%.

-maria

When Going to A Movie is a Luxury

It’s been almost a year I live in an island with no:

1. Movie theaters 
2. Malls 
3. Franchise fast foods 
4. Franchise supermarkets 
5. Franchise restaurants 
6. Franchise beauty shop or any other franchises, just name it

When we want to have them, we need to get to the island next to this. Of course with extra cash for:

1. A round trip ferry boat ticket 
2. Taxi to deliver you from the seaport to the place and back to the seaport

The money you cost for that extra is waaaaaaaaayyy higher than the money you cost for your main purpose. Then movie theatre really is a luxury here. You start to lose your sight for the latest movie played and talked in the entire world.

I’m not a big fan of a movie theatre but when there are moments when you don’t really into some movie but this movie is the final sequel and you’ve already watched all the prequels, or this just a common movie but everybody is talking about it. So like it or not it is a must seen movie. You just don’t want to sit there in the middle of a conversation with your fellas with your mouth open and the look in your eyes says ‘what the heck are this entire people talking about?’ –Trust me, people who do that when you’re talking about something is a real life pain in the ass–

I just had that kind of movie ping moment last week. It was really hard to find a right time to go to a movie since beside the extra money you also need extra 2 hours to get there. You do remember when I talked about extra money right? That factor makes us draw as much agenda as we possibly could do when we get there. Just like the wise man said ‘killing two birds –or more– with one stone’ haha –it is the refined version of budget effectiveness–

Humans!!

You used to hate traffic jam; running through the sidewalk snatching taxi; queuing on the ticket box on a movie theatre or on some crowded restaurant which still able to make you willing to wait hours for a table; driving around the parking lot for hours just to wish any luck to get a parking spot in a mall; breaking through bunch of people in discount hunting.

It’s funny when you have a life far away from the city crowd. You’ll have these much time to deliberate with yourself. Then you just realize it more than ever. That you. Miss. THE city crowd. Real bad. ahahahahhaha.

You really don’t miss your water ‘till the well runs dry do you?

Have a wonderful holiday everybody!!

-maria-

Neither To Be Ignored Nor To Be Allowed To Interfere Too Much

I live in an era where you can wash your hands and make them germ free without any soap and water; that when you clap your hands one time you can turn on the light in your room and when you clap it two times you can flush your toilet.

When I have kids I want them to be an astronaut where they can literally put their footsteps on the moon and to find every reasonable explanation what is going on in places other than the earth, I want them to be a doctor where they can provide scientific solution for every human body condition even when they’re spitting nails. I always want scientific explanation for everything –even just a boyfriend coming late; scientific explanation is still required–

But somehow; somewhat; sometimes I am superstitious.

It’s hard to not think that superstition things are exist when you live in a tradition where I come from. We count birth date of a couple who wants to get married to determine their wedding date. My grandmother burned my favorite blue jean to repel bad luck because that jean was the one I wore when I fell from my motorbike which causes a small tiny little injury on my left ankle. When there is any eyelash falling out we consider it as someone out there is missing us then I would pick them and put it on my hair so the person who misses me will miss me eternally.

Just a couple of weeks ago I found out that my best friend’s mom was diagnosed for a pancreas tumor. The night before she had her surgery I dreamt that I lost one of my front teeth in which it would be interpreted as the dreamer will face someone’s death. And I swear it felt so real. I got freak out and called my boyfriend which he didn’t pick up; I texted my friend which he didn’t text me back; I called my sister and she also didn’t pick up the phone. I got scared even more. But it was nothing, not even a hint. Because I forgot the fact that I called and texted them on 3 AM in the morning and it was a weekday..ha..ha..

So everybody is fine, my mom and dad are fine, my sister is fine, people that I care are fine, the surgery went well. Thank God. And hopefully the surgery will do just fine for her.

I haven’t said a lot of prayer lately. Which I know that will always be the reason I’m having the irrational thought. I got scared of tiny little unimportant things, because I don’t have a strong enough barrier for my faith. That I would easily sweep by my own thought which most of the time I found that I always have a bizarre way of thinking.

Don’t ignore them too selfishly. Just use them as a warning for the path you will choose. But have faith that He’s up there watching and never sleeps. Besides that, we have to admit that it always fun to say “It’s a sign!” isn’t it?

-maria-